Why I choose to be grateful for getting hit by a car
In May 2019, I sustained a concussion as a pedestrian crossing the street, leading to a brain injury I’m still recovering from. My left hemisphere was affected: I lost my ability to analyse. I couldn’t do basic math. My memory was inconsistent and untrustworthy. While absolutely frightening, acceptance of this being my new reality came with the opportunity to fully engage with my right hemisphere, and tap into my immense creativity in a new way. My ‘analytical mind’ was quiet. I was unable to process, and this was a release in some ways.
I was confronted with aspects of myself that surprised me: why did I decline the ambulance? Why did I keep quiet about what happened? Why did I feel guilt and shame, and why didn’t I feel anger?
Due to the brain injury, I was unable to analyse the answers to these questions; it was about being with the associated feelings and physical sensations.
There’s little that western medicine offered to enable my recovery. So I’ve explored alternative routes, including EMDR and somatic experiencing to eliminate trauma from my mind and body. I’m now deep in a spiritual path of yoga and meditation to continue to shed aspects of myself that are not serving me. I am committed to a belief that I will make a full recovery: that my body will heal itself. I am doing everything I can to support myself to get there, from eating for my health to being more selective about where I spend my now more limited energy.
As I tap into a connection with ‘universal flow’, which is something I can’t explain analytically but intuitively feel, serendipity is becoming more and more normative.
On my best days, I feel a radiant joy permeating my entire body, limitless and liberated. I feel a sense of inner stillness and trust. I seek to sustain that feeling constantly.
This massive growth personally is reflected in a career transition that is ongoing: who am I, underneath all the layers? What is it that I am capable of? What is my dream and purpose? These are among the questions that I’m currently exploring, and I am facing the blocks with curiosity and non-judgement.
I know the answers will reveal themselves, at exactly the time they are meant to. I am in love with the journey of transition, and feel blessed, happy, and again, ever so grateful for the experience of life. Although I wouldn’t wish a car accident upon anyone, we don’t get to select our wake-up calls in life, and given the available emotions that I can feel: I choose gratitude.